Lessons From A Mountaintop: Lesson 2

Moment of serenity in the village mountain where my family is from inAncient Messini (A stop we visit on Remote & Retreat: Greece.)

Emotional well-being:
How can Joy exist when Sadness is also present?

Why write on a topic that can be sorrowful?

Because that is also part of being human. I chose to write on this topic because I want others to understand they are not alone.

How can we move forward when debilitating pain—physical, emotional, or mental—takes up all the space?

Does Joy cease to exist in these moments?

What if the moment was filled with Joy, and then the Sadness hits?

Does Sadness take precedence?
Does it get more space?
Does it settle and take over because it is louder or stronger?

Why does Joy have to give up its space? And if so, when does it get its space back?

Who decides when?

I know each and every one of us struggles with joy and sadness, happiness and grief, sometimes separately, sometimes simultaneously.

A mother who has just given birth to a healthy child but loses her loved one the same week—each tear is both bitter and sweet.

In my life, I have had many seasons of both Joy and Sadness. This summer, in particular, has brought the acute experience of Joy and pain coexisting in the same space.

I often find myself asking how I can exist in this constant ebb and flow. How can I keep one from dominating the other?

We don’t all live in this extreme, and sometimes the timing allows for joy first, then sadness, then back to joy.

But what happens when they come too close together?

I tend to see the glass as half full or find the silver lining, even when it’s clear that the moment is truly a “half empty glass” moment. But sometimes, life’s saddest moments can make one feel like a yo-yo caught in a particularly painful event.

I’m no expert on life’s pain, but what I do know is this:

​Lesson 2: We must not let Sadness take over Joy’s space.

I like to think of myself as a house filled with rooms—one for Joy, and one for Sadness. Joy can give up its space temporarily to Sadness so it has room to spill over at times, but Sadness doesn’t deserve to take over the entire house forever. It must give Joy back its room after a time.

Letting Sadness and Joy both be present, coexisting together—to grieve fully, yet also recognize Joy’s presence, and fully experience both.

There is no right or wrong way to experience our deepest emotions, but I do know that allowing one to dominate the other for longer or larger than its space deserves will lead to missing out on many moments of the other. Time is the only buffer between these extremes, and time is what is needed to fully shift from one to the other.

My hope for you is that you find your Joy again after your deepest sadness. To give both the space to exist. Maybe not simultaneously, but perhaps giving equal space to each, and walking through one door at a time.

I know I am still working on my house—how much room each emotion gets. But we are the only ones who get to decide how much space each one gets, and when one can borrow space from the other.
If you are struggling with deep sadness, I hope you will recognize the need for help and find the appropriate resources to support you through it.

Challenge: Take a moment to write down what is creating the sadness in your current season and what is joyful. Reflect on how many days each of these emotions are getting. If there’s an imbalance that feels off, especially in the season of sadness, create a plan for bringing Joy back into your week and seek help when it seems impossible. If you haven't let your moment for sadness be, plan for a time to process your sadness.

If you have trouble making this plan, reach out to a friend or professional who can help you understand you are not alone. 



–––––––––––––
If you like some peaceful ASMR - Turn sound up for the video below. Video from this summer in the mountain village of Ancient Messini where my family is from.